Tango: my life as a not-so-good leader

And you thought that YOU were the worst dancer in the world ?

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Comforting words 

So here I was, sat in an armchair in the tango school lobby, reading fashion magazines while waiting for my class to begin. One of the directors, a lady who was an advanced dancer ten years ago (and still is), was chatting with two beginners. Real beginners, who had just taken up A.T. One of the two guys said something like he liked to dance in the milongas, but feared that women were not liking dancing with him. The lady made the standard reply about poor dancers with whom she had had pleasant dances. And then she exemplified: “Take Dave and Benjamin. Dave has a gift for tango, an outstanding technique. You show him a step and he picks it immediately. He has a good posture, he can dance either milonguero, open or nuevo. But in a milonga I prefer being invited by Benjamin, who is a horrible dancer. Because Benjamin dances with me, is aware of where I am, cancels his sequences if he’s feeling that I’m lost. Technically speaking he’s a poor dancer, still unable to lead anything, but he keeps trying and he will improve some day. Dave dances alone, he dances for the music and for the steps, but not for me. If I’m alert it will look like we’re together but if I’ll feel we’re not. Well of course I'll dance with him if he asks.”

The usual fairy tales of a school owner who doesn’t want to lose students, I thought. I turned the page of my magazine and began to read the Aquarius horoscope.

Here the blood froze in my veins. Not that the horoscope had bad news, but I had just realized something: Benjamin and I are in the same class, we have more or less the same age and began A.T the same year. So his level is basically the same as mine. In an advanced follower’s eyes, I’m a pathetic leader.

posted by Pablo  # 7:32 AM
I am so glad you've decided to add comments...I've been following your site for a year now and love it! This is the first time I've been able to tell you so.
Thanks. It's not that before I did not want to allow comments, I'm just not good with technical issues and only recently did I discover the "comments" feature. I've seen other blogs, they have pictures, movies, music...it's impressive!
Here it will just be a plain ASCII blog, I'm afraid.
Like your last post as a beginner ;-)

I feel a problem as a leader that I am not intresting in meeting every women in a tango. Or to phrase it the other way around right now I feel just dancing with one woman is more than enough....

I feel the dancing with this woman that I know outside the tango dancefloor is a real nice meeting that I feel I don't have with other women. I more often get the feeling please stop those 3 minutes I get bored...

Is it just a normal phase of a beginner or is the first sign that I should stop dancing.....

Magnus, hwo about trying to change the way you dance? focus less on your steps and sequences but mor on your partners - just try to feel their bodies react to your lead, try to feel their bodies as part of your own. Then listen to the music and just dance.
Forget about the figures and steps... its all about the connection and the musicality.
Hi Dekay

I feel that the problem is that I have stepped concentrate on my step and
start meeting focus on the person I dance with.

The problem is that if I don't get a meeting in the dance I feel just
that we are practising steps which makes me bored...

It is a little bit that I have seen the light with Tango and that I don't want to go back to the darkness of just practising steps when dancing social with a partner

Regards from Sweden

this is just what happens: you expect more connection the more you dance. Ever observed the "really good dancers" being really picky about who they dance with? This is one reason...
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