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Tango: my life as a not-so-good leader

And you thought that YOU were the worst dancer in the world ?

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Don't say you're sorry 

"Stop saying all the time you're sorry", my partner said.

It was not a milonga. It was this moment at the end of the class, when the teachers say Ok, here's some music, dance as you wish and try to include today's pattern. So I thought that it was ok to talk, and to apologize when needed.

"Stop saying you're sorry, it only highlights and emphazises your mistake, it prevents me from pretending I did not notice, it makes me have to acknowledge your words and reply something, and it makes the break in the dance last longer. It's better to just move along. Plus, the lady may actually have not noticed anything. After all, if she made a step it means you were leading something after all."

She wasn't one of my usual partners. Otherwise she would have known the matters were a little subtler than that. She would have known that my saying "Sorry" really means "sorry for not having been able, this time, to cover your missing my lead."

But still...she may have a point here all the same. When I'm knocked by another couple when dancing, in the rare occasions where I'm able to absorb all the damage and to keep my partner's dance undisturbed, it's a gratifying enough feeling and I sure don't want to stop and listen to the other lady's detailed apologies for her heel ending in my ankle.

This is what I thought long afterwards, though. On the moment I kept saying sorry, plus I apologized for saying sorry, making things even worse.

posted by Pablo  # 8:12 AM (4) comments

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